water cooler :: Your Jokes Here Please

as an "x.luni" , "mr.sicfoot" is always looking back to the days when he was but a "sod".

This seems too good, got from web....

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Funny cartoon http://ars.userfriendly.org/cartoons/?id=20080930&mode=classic

Funny webpage and oh so true: http://www.catb.org/~esr/html-hell.html

"I used to have that problem when I ran Windows!"

Edit: By way of disclaimer, I expect that what I have posted is derived from something or another that I have seen or heard somewhere and has evolved as I have told the jokes. I do not claim them to be original but lack the time to research the true origins amongst all of the other plagiarizers which may be who I heard it from without reference to the original.

"Author Unknown."

ok, one more. Not so much just linux. I saw something somewhere and it has evolved over the last year or so.

Computers help us make more mistakes faster then every before in human
history. Then we can transmit our mistakes world wide instantly.

Plz keep this thread going. We all need a good laugh about now with the state of the price of tea in China.

Spark-O-Matic

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